Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
only if we run a train.
done.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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