I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
