i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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