Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
