I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize