forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
farters have to be the big spoon...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize