I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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