You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We named our party play list daddy issues
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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