i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
