Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
