You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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