Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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