girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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