my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize