Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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