grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
