shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
