Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
