Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
