ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
