well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
