please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize