i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
