At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
