she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
