Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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