Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
