Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You are the jesus of drinking
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
