Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
