oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
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i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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