yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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