okay pat passed out under dana's car
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
