I am puke
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
