I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
