Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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