My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You know, be my cock's hype man.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
