i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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