I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
