I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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