No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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