It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
