Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
