I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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