this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
