well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
