Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
