Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so let's talk penis.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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