I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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