I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
