i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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