in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
