So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
