I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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