i need an iv and a liver transplant
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
