I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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