I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
