I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
